Are you listening or hearing?

How many times have you been frustrated by someone who is not listening to what you are saying? How many times have you frustrated others by not listening to them?

People tend to think that listening is the same as hearing, but the truth is, listening is hearing PLUS understanding.

Often times during a conversation we jump in to say what is on our minds even before we acknowledge or register what the other person is saying. This ‘butting-in’ short circuits the possibility of a mutual understanding between you and the other speaker, even if you did not deliberately set out to break the flow of conversation.

How do you know when a person is not listening? It is usually easy to sense this. Tell-tale signs are poor eye contact, shuffling feet, busy hands, and meaningless replies like, “That’s interesting…”, “Oh really?”, “Uh huh…” etc. A fake listener’s lack of interest in the conversation can also reflect an even more annoying reality – his or her lack of interest in the speaker.

Most people don't listen with the intent to understand, but listen only with the intent to reply. Even at work, where performance takes priority over relationships, listening carefully to understand the other person's point of view before you even think about replying is the key to productive communication.

Careful listening is difficult and takes practice to improve. Next time you get into a conversation, try to ‘care enough’ to understand what the other person is saying.

Credit to Qpportuity

The Crosswalk

CROSSWALK

By Amy Sandlin

As I slowly pulled myself into work this morning, I was overwhelmed with exhaustion; with full speed stress headed my way.

Anticipating the "mind over matter" feeling I needed, my eyes not wanting to open my "inbox" to start the day, I remembered the crosswalk.

I was on my way to work a couple weeks ago, frustrated at how late traffic was making me, annoyed at my bad hair day.

It was already scorching hot, humid and NO wind.

I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep.

While being frustrated and annoyed and just plain angry at the day, I was held at a stop light for what seemed like forever.

I glanced over to my left and saw a woman probably in her mid twenties, waiting for the crosswalk sign to allow her to cross.

She was dressed in bright colors, gorgeous shoes, with a purse at her side and a glowing smile!

Along with these striking things, she also had her dog along for the stroll.

A joyful golden retriever, hopping along on the leash, excited for the day and to be outside with his owner.

He just couldn't sit still with how much energy he had.

So the woman petted him with her hand, and was talking to him with so much expression, and love - they were so happy! It made me smile underneath my gloomy bad mood.

One detail not mentioned; the woman dressed in bright colors, gorgeous shoes, purse and a glowing smile, with her pal at her side was handicap, in an electric wheel chair, which she could only operate with her right hand.

As the crosswalk sign changed, and she pushed the black knob forward to operate her wheelchair across the street, her dog followed happily beside her as the leash was tied to the arm of her chair.

A tear filled my eye, and I smiled! Someone else's situation can kick your mind into gear and remind us what to be thankful for!

I have no doubt this woman and her dog were put there for a reason, so I would wake up, and enjoy my day no matter what my hair looked like, no matter what traffic I was stuck in, and no matter what my day had in store for me!

I greatly appreciate this woman and her golden retriever, for teaching me a wonderful lesson!

Pay attention to the smallest moments, they will teach the most!

7 Way to Stay Motivated

Hello friends, it has been quite a while I am not updating my blog. So many things come up,  and only now I have time to update.

I just receive one email from my mentor, Miss Caroljit.. this is so powerful article. Powerful in the sense of, every point seems like hitting me :) Anyway, very worth to spend 15 mins read all the articles..

Enjoy !!!

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It is so easy to go from excitement to complete apathy but there are things you can do to ensure you stay motivated towards your goal and following are seven great ones!

1. Is Your Reason WHY Large Enough?
When I wanted to lose weight, setting a goal to look great in clothes was not big enough, what didn’t help was the fact that I loved who I was and what I looked like, but my health had begun to show signs of being affected by my excess weight and this is the WHY I used to ensure I stayed on track.

I started with 6 weeks of no dairy, no wheat and red meat only once a week.

Do you think I needed a big why to stay committed to such a regime??!!

I knew that health is my true wealth.

Having been unwell for 6 months and hardly able to walk had taught me that without my health my goals were useless.

So maintaining a healthy body that would allow me to enjoy the fulfilment of my goals was the big WHY that kept me on track.

Stop and think about your reason WHY?

What reason is big enough to keep you motivated at times when you want to give up and/or give in?

2. Create a visual and emotional image of what you want.
Writing your goals down is an essential tool but not always enough to keep focused.

Writing your goals down and having a visual image of you completing that goal adds fuel to the motivational fire. Writing goals down, having a visual image of your completed goal AND connecting this image with your emotions is the power of 3 that will ensure your motivation remains high.

At any point during the day, or at any time when you are feeling in need of encouragement, you can simply stop, close your eyes, see your goal and evoke all the emotions achieving that goal holds for you.

Nothing is more powerful!

3. Questions to ask before, during and after!
It is important to know not only why you are doing something but also WHAT.

What achieving this goal will provide for yourself and your family.

It is easy to believe that what you want is to make a million, but for many it is the lifestyle and the time freedom that this money has the potential to provide that will be the real motivation.

Spend time asking yourself questions that will help you identify what achieving your goal will provide.

Questions such as:
- What will it bring me?
- What will it do for me, my family, and/or friends?
- What kind of lifestyle will I be able to have?
- What sacrifices will I need to make?
- What will be the impact on my current routine?
- What will be the impact on my family?
- What outcome do I want to achieve?
- What contributions will I be able to make?

Motivation and staying motivated is easy when you know what the achievement of your goal will provide for you and we only really lose motivation when we lose sight of our goal or end result.

4. Creating a visual representation of what you want

Keep the motivational fires burning by creating a collage with the family of what your end result will look like, or paint a picture, write a poem, sing a song or whatever creative endeavour excites you enough to complete it.

Whatever you create keep it in a place where you can see it constantly.

I remember listening to someone talk about sticking a poster of making their first 100,000 on their ceiling so that as they woke up it was the first thing they saw each morning, and the last image in their mind before falling asleep.

Leave yourself reminders on your fridge door, on your bathroom mirror, in your car.

The more places you are able to leave yourself little notes and reminders about what you want to achieve the better.

Doing this will help your unconscious mind bring you the results you desire, whilst also supporting you in staying focused and motivated towards achieving your goal.

5. Get Support from people around you
Support from family and friends is important but also consider what other support is available to you.

Books, mentoring, work colleagues, life coaching, forums - these are all things that can support you as you work towards achieving your goal.

Also think about WHO can support you in staying motivated, can you buddy up with someone, do you have a “boss” who will be happy to help you keep accountable.

One thing I recommend is that you tell as many people as you know about what you want to achieve, this has the effect of keeping you motivated to complete your goal because you have told so many people.

However, a word of caution is needed here because it is easy for people to trample your dreams and fail to support you.

You must first pick and choose carefully those people you know will want to support you, but also you must gain enough inner personal strength to be able to continue no matter what negative comments may come your way.

6. Develop Inner Personal Strength
Ultimately, the person who will determine whether you stay motivated and achieve your goal will be YOU.

Your thoughts will determine your behaviour which determines your results.

Developing a strong inner personal strength about your ability to achieve and your ability to motivate yourself when you are in an unproductive state of mind is essential.

Being able to see setbacks and failures as opportunities for continued growth and upset and emotional turmoil as opportunities to discover what you want and need, will determine how you view life.

One of the best ways to inner personal strength is to read and listen to audios that inspire and motivate you.

Continued learning is an essential part of being able to stay motivated.

7. Support from Continued Learning
If you are going to need to learn new skills to ensure you complete your goal then it is a good idea to identify what learning you will need to undertake as early as possible.

If you have planned out how you will achieve your outcome then you will already be aware of any areas where you need to strengthen your skills or out source to others who will be able to fulfil what you need.

There is nothing worse than getting halfway towards the completion of a goal and to be stopped because you are not able to complete something because of lack of knowledge and/or skills.

This is a sure-fire way of dampening your excitement and your motivation.

Make a list of what you can and can’t do and who might be able to help you.

Knowing this in advance can help you avoid getting frustrated because things aren’t getting done.

If you are serious about developing your personal and professional life then I recommend getting yourself a Mentor or Life Coach, to ensure you stay on track.

You should also look at continued learning as it relates to your own personal development, continuing with your own personal development will ensure you are able to work through set backs quickly and stay motivated.

 

Staying motivated when you are looking to achieve your goals is essential for ultimate success.

I have provided you with seven practical ways to achieve continued motivation and I recommend you use them all.

Some of them such as creating a collage will be activities you perform occasionally, but others, such as continuing your personal development will be a continuous learning process.

There is not one single thing that will determine your success in staying motivated but a combination of many, finding the combination that is right for you will change from goal to goal and will be an ongoing (fun filled) exploration.

The Vase

I took sometimes today browsing some websites. This poem caught mu eyes to read more... This poem is actually in Bahasa Melayu, Malaysia's first language. I found it very meaningful, have a very deep meaning inside, so I did translate in English, to let my fellow non-Malaysian understand and enjoy the poem. I tried my best to ensure the meaning is same as what he wrote in Bahasa Melayu. Credit to the writer, Mr Saharil Sanin (www.saharil.com)

(English version)

THE VASE

Mom how are you doing?
It has been too long I didnt see you.
It has been many years dad in a jail.
They will hang him tomorrow.
Dad said it really an accident,
sometimes he just follow his heart,
he thought the hit was not so strong.
He didnt know the vase can be broken,
didnt know it can be like this.
Dad said sorry, he regrets.
He love you.
I hope you already forgive him
because, actually,
I already agreed
they will bury dad beside you.


(Malay version)

PASU

Emak apa khabar sekarang?
Lama betul adik tak jumpa emak.
Ayah sudah bertahun-tahun masuk penjara.
Mereka akan gantung dia esok.
Ayah kata dia tidak sengaja,
kadang-kadang dia ikut hati.
dia ingat dia pukul tidak kuat.
Tak tahulah pasu boleh pecah,
tak tahu nak jadi macam ni.
Ayah minta maaf, dia menyesal.
Dia sayang pada emak.
adik harap marah emak sudah reda
sebab, sebenarnya,
adik sudah bersetuju
mereka tanam ayah sebelah mak nanti.

He was healed by the Bio Disc

My fellow business partner gave me this article. This article was written in Daily Monitor, one of Uganda Newspaper, dated 5th June 2008. This is one of the wonderful experience told one of millions Biodisc user.

" Robert Malinga (a former contestant of Bukedia East) tells Edwin Nuwagaba how for over six years he suffered from fibromalagia* until a friend introduced him to the bio disc
I am a professional teacher and social worker. I always was a happy man until 2002 when I started having tingling pains across my entire body especially around my joints. I would feel numb, stressed and depressed.
I lost my temper on several occasions and felt like the world was not a place for me to live. I remember being so violent, most times I would isolate myself from other people and even my own family. I wanted to be alone.
I had been to various hospitals but they all were of no help. When I went to Nsambya Hospital, doctors thought I had HIV/Aids but the tests were negative, I was tested for typhoid, Hepatitis A and B and several other tests which all were negative. From there I went to Case Clinic but they also did not find any disease.
I later went to Mengo Hospital and still it was the same case. At this time I was feeling frustrated and depressed. I did not know what I was going to do. I even reached an extent of thinking that maybe I was bewitched, though I did not ponder over it for a long time because I am a Christian.
But I still could not rest because my social life was wasting away. So, the following morning I decided to go for other tests. At Ebenezer Clinic where I went first, I was advised to see a counsellor, because they also could not figure out what I was suffering from.
When I finally went to see the counsellor, he asked me what I was doing, and I told him the nature of my job. I was running two schools at the same time; St George High school, and St Mary’s College Kyengera where I also served as the Headmaster.
In 2001 I stood for MP youth for Eastern Bukedia and lost, in 2006 I stood again as a full MP and lost again. My schools were not doing well at this time because I spent most time indoors.
I had even enrolled for a Masters degree in Business Leadership with World University of Leadership in New York, but I had to cancel it. The counsellor concluded that I was too ambitious and stress which had let to the disorientation of my nerves. He asked me to take some time off my job and get enough time to rest.
However, even when I had done just as he said, the pains did not subside. I decided to go to one more hospital, this time promising myself, that it would be the last hospital I would go to if things did not work. I gathered courage and went to Victoria Clinic where Dr George Mayanja referred me to Prof. Nsereko Lule in Nairobi Hospital. He assured me he was the only one who could handle my case.
On September 7 with my brother’s wife, I started my journey to Nairobi. First thing in the morning I went to the hospital, where I met Prof. Lule a soft spoken man who subjected me to even more vigorous tests. He finally said I had to see a rheumatologist and referred me to Dr. Omondi Oyo at Fort Granite.
I was beginning to lose courage once again, because this was the man Dr Mayanja said would help me. I had nothing to do and the following day when I went to Dr Omondi’s clinic he used my original medical results to do even more other tests. But time was running out. And besides paying consultancy fees, I had spent a lot of money on all the tests which were very expensive; I also had to pay for our food and the hotel I rented with my in-law.
The day before I came back, I went to Prof. Kioi Paul a neurologist who did the final tests. He was very surprised at his findings and told me that the disease I was suffering from was for old people those in their 50s and above.
He said there were subtle changes in my nerves, and that’s how he came up with the fibromalagia syndrome. He advised me to go for physiotherapy which I started doing at Victoria Clinic as soon as I came back. Having left Nairobi I knew this was going to be my own way out.
However one day while I was in Wandegeya having a drink with my friend Josh, he told me his father had had the same problem as mine but had used the bio disc and was now healed. So, he told me about his friend Benon Kiggundu a technical partner in Quest net who could help me.
At first I thought that he was a conman, I could not believe what he was saying but he insisted. He then invited Benon to meet us, and the next time we met, Benon had his bio disc.I saw the bio disc, a small round glass for the first time.
Benon pulled it out from his bag and used a torch while rotating it around the disk anticlockwise 21 cm away from my body, within 15 minutes I started feeling better. I felt rejuvenated and my body resonated. He even lit my cigarette using the disc. I started to believe that the bio disc works when he poured my beer onto the disk and it tasted like Red Bull. That night I slept very well. Since then I have not gone back to the physiotherapist because the bio disc is now serving me better.
Benon has been helping me to energise the water I drink and bathe with every day, but now I have paid half the price and I am about to buy my own bio disc. I have even appointed myself as a private representative of the bio disc. I cannot not say that I am completely healed but at least I am off drugs and I no longer go to the physiotherapists. My pains have subsided, and I feel much better now. "

*fibromalagia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

To those biodisc user outside, feel free to share you experience with Biodisc here..

Managing Money

I have been looking for the place to put money for the past few weeks. I have been through few reading on financial planning, investment, including property investment, and also stock market. As I consider of a newbie in this area, I do lots of reading to figure out what is the best investment tools, which can maximizing my money there. Then, I found out few options as per following:

1) Unit trust... less risk investment. In Malaysia, there are so many unit trust fund exist. I have to choose the best fund to maximize my return. For me, the criteria that I always put when evaluating one fund with another fund is:
- agent himself, part time or fulltime. I preferrably fulltime agent, as he will commit more than what part-timers do. I will also choose the agent who know to advise me where to put the money in, as I dont have time to think of it on my own. I am not against any part-timers, as me too start of the business as part time, then change to full time. The thing is, part timers must have full-time mentality, taking care of the customer 24hours a day as you are full time.
- past time record. Normally past time tells the future. If the fund perform well for the past few years, so better I go in that fund.
- the cheapest price. I prefer go to the unit which offers the cheapest price, yet in the category of aggressive. Unit trust investment is a long term investment, and I strongly believe that the price gonna hike up after 3- 5 years. Just imagine, if 1 unit = 15 cent, can u imagine how much i will make if the price went to 1 unit = 70 cent, with 100000 units in my hand?
For the time being, I already invested in 2 funds.. long term investment.

2) House investment... high risk investment, yet most profitable investment. I have a friend who make profit 132% within 5 months invest in a house. It required big investment, and of course very big return. But, if I step at the wrong path, of course I am going to end up with lots of lose.
Last few weeks i went looking for a few houses in Seremban and KL area. From my observation, to invest in property and to ensure i have return on it, I must consider few things:
- area / location, where my property locate at. This play important role as i need to look up for tenant. The location also determined how much my profit gonna be.
- the price offerred must 20% less than the market price. It is not a good investment if I buy the asset through agent with the price more than market price. So, try not to buy via agent. The other way, is by finding a house which been auctioned. The price is guarantee low than market price. Lots of work to do here
- not buying a terrace house, but apartment. Remember that the house is not for me to stay in, but for tenant. The Malaysia's trend is ppl is always looking for an apartment. Why? Security, lifestyle, easy to manage, ect...

3) Stock market... good for long term. Fast profit, high risk investment. Better start to invest now. Most of the major stock price goes down.. but if u have a heart problem. Better not to go this kind of investment.

4) Buying another account in Quest Net.. very worth to put money in, double up income, more profit, more money, more to invest.. =)

Why Africa?

Many of my friends asked me, why Africa must be your focus in building the business.

Here is the answer... look at the map, and asked yourself..

1) How big the population there?

2) How many countries in there?

3) What the differences of Africa between, in 90's and now?

For those who never think of Africa in building the business, they will lose the race. Am sure my dear African brothers and sisters agree with me :)